Pinky Toes

Dear Pinky Toe

I will try to speak delicately, but this is hard to put nicely. Alright I'll just tell you exactly how I feel, no more miscommunication. Frankly, I hate your stinkin guts. Whenever I think about you and all the pain you put me through it makes me sick to my stomach and I just wanna kick a small animal or something. You are so not needed in my life anymore, in fact I don't even understand why I kept you for so long. I mean what good have you ever done me? NONE! that's right none! Oh I bet you are reading this and thinking, 'yea right' well then I shall list the ways you infuriate me so!
First of all you are fat. You are sooo fat! You are hideously fat. You don't even look like anyone else. Yes I'm comparing you to my other toes, because you stick out, you are uncomfortably different. Also because of your large size you make it difficult for me to do normal everyday things like oh I don't know, walking! you don't fit into shoes, you are always uncomfortably cramped in there, hence the fatness. You just cause me pain everywhere we go, all the time. I'm sorry that I have to be so blunt and just say all these harsh things but I feel like its the only way you will understand. So please either go on a diet or leave my life completely, those are the only options left that I can see. I hope things work out for you in the end, I really do because well, I'm really quite attached to you.
love
Me